Never Split the Difference

Negotiating is a very human thing, which means it is messy and complicated and involves understanding a lot of psychology.

What people want. What sets them on edge. How personality differences play off of each other.

It's far too common for one person to have given 80 percent and another to have given 5 percent. The person who has done less is likely to be the one who makes some proposal along the lines of "I will do twice as much as I've been doing and I ask that you only do a little more than you've been doing and we can meet HERE."

"HERE" being a 90/10 split where they are asking you to do as much more additional giving on top of what you have already done as the entirety of what they are willing to give at all: Ten percent more to match their ten percent total.

And they will act like they are making a huge sacrifice and you are only doing a little more.

Don't take that deal. If you've been giving 80 percent and they have been giving 5 percent and want to insist that you understand and have sympathy etc, this is always some selfish individual taking advantage of and abusing some generous individual and bleeding them for more.

If you've given the lion's share and they don't want to rise to the occasion and do the mere 20 percent you are asking of them to seal the deal, you are better off walking away.

They will never do anything but shaft you. It will never get better. They will always have some sob story and always impose on your good nature to give just a little more.

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